Is Dialogue Still Possible?

As I consider starting up my Dinners and Discussions again, I’ve been thinking a lot about how hard it’s become to have real dialogue in today’s world.

We live in a time when disagreement now feels dangerous. As the culture around us grows more volatile and our values drift further apart, even our words begin to lose shared meaning.

For some, words themselves are violent—and therefore seen as deserving of physical violence in return. But if that’s true, does it break the very contract of dialogue?

How do we move forward when simply trying to understand one another feels unsafe?

I believe it begins by establishing a few clear agreements before engaging in meaningful conversation. Without them, dialogue isn’t constructive but further contributes to the problem.

Here are four agreements I believe every conversation across difference requires:

1. Freedom of Speech: We each have the right to speak freely and honestly. Yes, we should uphold respect as an virtue to aspire to, but respect loses its meaning when it becomes a tool for control.

2. No Personal Attacks: We challenge ideas, not identities. No ad hominem remarks, name-calling, or moral grandstanding.

3. Offense Is a Risk: In honest dialogue, offense is possible—even inevitable. But offense should invite a responsible response, not retaliation. We can say, “That offended me,” without resorting to physical or verbal violence.

4. Freedom to Exit: Every person has the autonomy to step away when a conversation no longer serves a shared goal of understanding or growth. Rather than attacking when triggered, this is the best response we can give to someone who is not showing mutual respect.

If we can agree on these things, real dialogue is still possible. And maybe, just maybe, we can restore dignity even in the divide.

~Peace